Phone Calls

Last night at supper, I got a phone call from Frasier. You don't know Frasier? That's OK, neither do I. Frasier is with CIBC Wood Gundy, and is phoning people at supper time to offer his services as a financial advisor. Now I don't know about you, but if I was looking for a financial advisor I would go to the richest person I know and ask him who his financial advisor is. I certainly wouldn't retain someone based on the fact that he phoned me at supper time. I suppose they have some charts that say for every 100 people they phone someone will become their customer. But I digress. Anyway, Frasier says to me, "Mr Abigail, how are you today sir?" So I put as much paranoia in my voice as possible and say "Why do you ask?!" After he recovered I told him I wasn't interested. He was still talking as I hung up, so I didn't hear the rest of his pitch. Maybe he's a fantastic financial advisor, but phoning me at supper time is not the way to interest me.

Rogers Cable used to phone me monthly. "Mr Abigail, we've been checking our records and we've found you aren't a cable subscriber! But don't worry sir, we're going to fix this problem. We have a special free installation deal and we can get it installed this week. What day would be most convenient for you?" So I politely say I'm not interested, and wait for the call next month. You may ask, how did Shawn escape the endless cycle? One day, I politely said "No" and they asked me why I didn't want cable TV. I replied "Because I view your coaxial cable as a pipe carrying raw sewage into my house." There was a pause, and the girl said "Well you know we do have packages without those channels." I replied, "It's all the same to me." And that was the last time they phoned.