Redneck Test
Are you a Redneck? Take this simple test:
1. Regarding guns
a) They are an evil which should be made illegal
b) They are a constitutional right for the maintaining of a militia
c) They are a way to protect my loved ones
d) It is the constitutional right of every red-blooded American to own an AK-47 assault rifle
e) It is the constitutional obligation of every red-blooded American to own an M-16, which is made in America, unlike those AK-47s
2. Regarding where to store guns
a) I don't have a gun (see 1.a)
b) I store my gun in a locked cabinet, separate from the ammunition
c) I store my gun where it will be handy if I need it
d) I store my guns in the back window of my pickup truck
3. Regarding meat
a) I am a vegetarian for the sake of principle
b) I eat limited portions of meat as part of a healthy lifestyle
c) I enjoy all types of meat
d) Only a wimp would avoid beef
e) I eat beef and veal as a matter of principle
4. Regarding Canada
a) Canada is a valued friend and trading partner
b) Canada is an independent country with an independent foreign policy, which we must respect even if we disagree
c) Cold fronts come from Canada. I saw it on the Weather Channel
d) Billy-Bob and me is planning to invade Canada next week, so's they can be a part of America jes like Mr Monroe said they should. Besides, I heard they got's good hunting up there.
5. Regarding the Military
a) the military is an out-dated institution, which should be uni-laterally disbanded
b) it is regretable that a military is necessary
c) our military is vital to our defense and our interests
d) military service should be compulsory
e) I don't have time to join the military. I am too busy with Billy-Bob's private militia
6. Regarding the Environment
a) environmental issues are the only ones that really matter
b) I do my part to recycle and take care of the environment
c) Jobs are more important than trees
d) Teddy Roosevelt didn't worry about the environment, and he was a real man!
7. Regarding Terrorists
a) terrorists have legitimate political and economic concerns, which must be addressed
b) terrorists concerns me, and we must be wary
c) we should punish countries that sponsor terrorism
d) we should nuke countries that sponsor terrorism
e) just let a terrorist try something. I got my .45 and I'll let him have it
8. Regarding Transportation
a) I use public transit. It's cheap, efficient and environmentally conscious
b) I use public transit. I don't like it, but it gets me there.
c) I own a fuel efficient car
d) I own a big American made car. Who cares about fuel efficiency?
e) I own a pickup truck. It's my constitutional right to use as much gas as possible
9. Regarding Voting
a) I weigh the issues, and then vote
b) Voting is my responsibility in a democratic society
c) I vote the straight part ticket
d) I vote for Billy-Bob 'cause he's kinfolk
e) I vote for Jefferson Davis every election.
I made this up years ago. My apologies to anyone named "Billy-Bob". For those who are interested, I'm generally an "option c" kind of person.
1. Regarding guns
a) They are an evil which should be made illegal
b) They are a constitutional right for the maintaining of a militia
c) They are a way to protect my loved ones
d) It is the constitutional right of every red-blooded American to own an AK-47 assault rifle
e) It is the constitutional obligation of every red-blooded American to own an M-16, which is made in America, unlike those AK-47s
2. Regarding where to store guns
a) I don't have a gun (see 1.a)
b) I store my gun in a locked cabinet, separate from the ammunition
c) I store my gun where it will be handy if I need it
d) I store my guns in the back window of my pickup truck
3. Regarding meat
a) I am a vegetarian for the sake of principle
b) I eat limited portions of meat as part of a healthy lifestyle
c) I enjoy all types of meat
d) Only a wimp would avoid beef
e) I eat beef and veal as a matter of principle
4. Regarding Canada
a) Canada is a valued friend and trading partner
b) Canada is an independent country with an independent foreign policy, which we must respect even if we disagree
c) Cold fronts come from Canada. I saw it on the Weather Channel
d) Billy-Bob and me is planning to invade Canada next week, so's they can be a part of America jes like Mr Monroe said they should. Besides, I heard they got's good hunting up there.
5. Regarding the Military
a) the military is an out-dated institution, which should be uni-laterally disbanded
b) it is regretable that a military is necessary
c) our military is vital to our defense and our interests
d) military service should be compulsory
e) I don't have time to join the military. I am too busy with Billy-Bob's private militia
6. Regarding the Environment
a) environmental issues are the only ones that really matter
b) I do my part to recycle and take care of the environment
c) Jobs are more important than trees
d) Teddy Roosevelt didn't worry about the environment, and he was a real man!
7. Regarding Terrorists
a) terrorists have legitimate political and economic concerns, which must be addressed
b) terrorists concerns me, and we must be wary
c) we should punish countries that sponsor terrorism
d) we should nuke countries that sponsor terrorism
e) just let a terrorist try something. I got my .45 and I'll let him have it
8. Regarding Transportation
a) I use public transit. It's cheap, efficient and environmentally conscious
b) I use public transit. I don't like it, but it gets me there.
c) I own a fuel efficient car
d) I own a big American made car. Who cares about fuel efficiency?
e) I own a pickup truck. It's my constitutional right to use as much gas as possible
9. Regarding Voting
a) I weigh the issues, and then vote
b) Voting is my responsibility in a democratic society
c) I vote the straight part ticket
d) I vote for Billy-Bob 'cause he's kinfolk
e) I vote for Jefferson Davis every election.
I made this up years ago. My apologies to anyone named "Billy-Bob". For those who are interested, I'm generally an "option c" kind of person.
posted by Shawn Abigail at 6:58 a.m.
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