Useful Statements from the Work Place

I've been in the work world for 10 years now, and in "Management" for 5 of them. I usually know what to say, how to smooth the waters and how to make a situation better. Sometimes though, my sense of humor gets the better of me or I get somewhat tired of dealing with people. Here is the result:

Some that I have used quite successfully are:

1. Maybe Santa Claus will give it to you, but I won't.

2. Sure you can get blood out of a stone, if you SQUEEZE it HARD enough. (people will give a nervous laugh when you say this, especially if you do neat eye tricks at the same time)

3. Why am I not going to do what you want me to do? Because I don't feel like it! (yes, this successfully ended the conversation. I apologized later).

4. Don't look at me... I'm just in this for the money. (In response to some programmers who asked me why I went into management)

5. Just because you are good at your job doesn't make you good at my job. (Don't EVER offer to come over to my office and tweek my code).

6. Just so that we understand each other, this is at no cost to my company. (when dealing with an unpleasant vendor situation).

7. You know, everyone was so nice to you. I'm surprised nobody ripped your head off. (when dealing with that same vendor who sent someone on our site).